I work very hard and am attending college to obtain my degree in the Human Service field. Writing makes me feel alive and gives me the opportunity to touch those whom I would not be able to otherwise. Last but not least, I have been blessed with two amazing daughters who love me completely and support my dreams. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or feedback.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl. She was told by her Great-Grandmother, Grandmother, Mother and older sister that she would one day meet her and they would ride off on into the sunset on his white horse. This went on for years and years and re-affirmed via Disney, Pixar and TriStar entertainment. What everyone failed to mention is that her Prince Charming could change his mind 5 years into the relationship and go for her best friend. Go figure.
It has been ingrained in every little girl that the way to eternal life is to find your glass slipper. In order to become a princess, you must have a prince. The castle, drawbridge and carriage may follow, but hopefully you get a one or two bedroom apartment out of the deal.
Being raised with the Prince/Princess mentality is not only damaging, but also draining as well.
Having a partner(s) throughout life is essential. Whether it is via a family member, friend or lover, one feels as if being a part of a team is the way to go. We long for connection, touch and communication. Feeling loved, special and important brings us up and allows us to have happier days more often than not.
When a child, male or female, is raised to believe that they are better with a “better” half, one is left to search for that missing piece. That search can take a lifetime, which prevents us from experiencing happiness throughout.
Whether you come to realize this now or later, please let this sink in. A lover, partner or spouse cannot and will never be able to make you feel good enough, loved enough and special enough. We are innately complex human beings. Because we protect innermost parts of ourselves, we fail to become vulnerable enough to allow another unconditionally in. We do this as a source of self-protection. It is absolutely within ourselves that we may become whole from the inside out.
As much as we desire to be complete with another, there is nothing greater than become complete and whole as an individual.
The greatest tragedy occurring throughout the world is the dependence on others to allow us to become who we are meant to be. So many times we fail to think for ourselves. The internet allows us to question others, obtain guidance and make a final decision based on the greater average. We follow the crowd, desiring to fit in, as if going against the grain will cause us to become outcasts.
Children and adults who fall into the trap of co-dependence may eventually rely on drugs and alcohol for support. The inability to say NO and listen to our authentic selves guides us in a direction we may have no taken to begin with. Because most of us live in dysfunctional families, we carry on the legacy of low self esteem, abuse of some sort and the inability to connect with others on a healthy intimate level.
We as individuals must do in depth soul searching. To be able to teach a child to live this type of life, a parent must want it first for themselves. We must begin to heal past hurts to allow our children a much better life than the one we may have not had. In lieu of granting them material gifts, isn’t it time we build them up through self-esteem, support and unconditional love? If each boy and girl realized that it is what they believe about themselves that most matters, we would find children who could accept others who were authentically themselves as well. Directing them to love and accept themselves as they are, not as anyone else believes they should be will give them they key to establish positive relationships as well. Instead of directing them to find a soul mate, why not inform them that they are already completely complete. Whether they have a partner or spouse, surrounding themselves with loving healthy people is the key.
An unhealthy parent will have unhealthy children. Unless the parent chooses to dig deep and do the much necessary healing, one thing is for sure, their family tree will resemble something like this:
Great Grandpa (Negative)
Great Grandma (Hurtful)
Grandpa (Hateful words)