Laura's Corner

What's another week....

Posted by Laura Beyer on June 27, 2010

when you’ve been waiting 20 years?

I recently got out my shovel and dug deep. I am sure you are thinking along the lines of planting and such, but what I am referring to is a matter of the heart.

Sit for a moment and close your eyes. Wait, don’t do it at this particular moment, as that would take the focus off of this article. Ponder for a moment. Take your mind back to your childhood or teens, when life was simple and easygoing.  You may recall your first bike, camping and good friends. Last but not least, your first love. The guy or gal who caught your heart. Unbeknownst to them, you fell hard and they became your sun, moon and stars. The world revolved around them, if only for a moment. The effect they had on you would be imprinted for years to come, if not forever.   

First loves are and will always be the most significant part of our lives. Our parents take them as silly crushes, teenage obsessions, but as we grow older, we realize how very important those relationships were at that particular moment. Most times, we eventually grow or are forced apart, moving forward in the direction most expected. 

Within our adult years, we ponder, “What if we had stayed together, I wonder how he or she is after all this time.” Some bury the memories and feelings while others continue to search for their very first significant other.

Why are these relationships so very important, and why do they affect us so profoundly?  As children, we grow up mostly unscathed. When we begin dating we are clean slates. We do not have preconceived notions about the opposite sex thus giving us the opportunity to be ourselves. They support us during our times of trouble and are a safe place to fall during family and best friend troubles. Thy care for us and love us as we are, very similar to an early parent child relationship. In fact, it may replace the relationship you have with your parent(s) as well. As we grow older and have had a heartache or two, we become more guarded and eventually become somewhat cynical, which is not necessarily negative if used in a positive nature.   

My first love occurred when I served in the US Army. The year was 1989 and my duty station was Fort Lewis, Washington. I became friends with and eventually began dating a man named Earl. Although I cannot remember exact details of how long we dated, it went on for months, possibly up to a year, until we parted ways. 

I moved on with my life, became married and had two daughters, yet I never forgot Earl. I did the occasional search via the operator within the first 10 years. Divorce fell upon my life in the year 2000.  After having the internet installed years ago, I began an active search. Each and every time I thought I found him, it would only lead to yet another dead end. The search itself was exhilarating and overwhelming. Not in one million years would I have ever imagined that Earl and I would ever speak again.

Within the last couple of weeks, I did another search. I Googled his high school website, hoping that the town he had stated he was raised included that particular high school. I located the high school reunion page, and discovered the classmates were allowed to post comments. Low and behold, the very last comment was from a man by the name of Earl, stating he had not been home in awhile and questioned when the next reunion would occur. I went to the classmates list, clicked on “Contact Earl here” and sent a quick email. I then shut the door once more and moved on with my life. What happened next was nothing short of a miracle.

Within a week, I received a response. From Earl. He was married 10, divorced for 5. He has two daughters, lives in Wyoming and has a great life. He included his phone number, stated he isn’t a big computer buff and requested I call him sooner than later.

Within moments of reading the email, I was dialing his number. I was shaking, nervous and didn’t know what to expect, yet when he answered the phone the years melted away. It was his voice, the one I had dreamt about for so long. 

We have been talking ever since, and I am planning a trip out to Denver within the next couple of weeks. We have talked about going into this experience with open minds, very few expectations and the fact that we have the opportunity very few, if any, will ever have. 

To be continued………