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Laura's Corner

I work very hard and am attending college to obtain my degree in the Human Service field. Writing makes me feel alive and gives me the opportunity to touch those whom I would not be able to otherwise. Last but not least, I have been blessed with two amazing daughters who love me completely and support my dreams. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or feedback.

Older woman - younger man

After many years of exposure, the older man/younger woman syndrome has finally become mainstream. 

Initially, the older man/younger woman partnership left one being labeled a “dirty old man” and the other a “gold digger”.   Today, it is the norm, almost celebrated.   Hugh Heffner is still going strong. With his set of three girlfriends, two of which are twin sisters, I am sure he has no plans of slowing down. 

Within the past decade or so, we are now seeing a switch. The older woman/younger man situation has hit the scene. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have given us an example of this type of so-called relationship.  

Unfortunately, the older woman/younger man coupling have a much different label. She, being a MILF, cougar or puma, and him being, well, just a young man. 

Let’s break it down a bit. The MILF is better known as a mother I would like to (fill in the blank). It is a mother, single, married or widowed, who grabs the attention of the younger man. She looks years younger than her actual age or looks just as good today as she did years ago. The cougar is an older woman who pursues younger men as a means to an end. The puma is a woman in her 30’s who prefers younger men as well. All of these women are considered sexy, confident and know exactly what they want in and out of the bedroom and are desired for their sexual prowess.

There is a certain stigmatism regarding both types of relationships. Although the older man is hailed by his friends, co-workers and neighbors, the older woman is somewhat scorned. Others who have yet to experience this type of situation cannot possibly comprehend the “why” of it all. 

As a woman who has dated men of all ages, I can answer this question. At the age of 39, I have been approached by men between the ages of 18 until 70. They assume I am much younger, some stating as young as 25. Whether it is to appease my senses or a true statement, it is much appreciated. While I am walking around with my teenage daughters, some actually believe we are sisters.   My kids may agree to disagree, yet for the most part, they have become accustomed to those types of remarks. 

Although I prefer to date within 5 years higher or lower than myself, allow me to give you a brief glimpse into the world of a woman who has been there, done that.

Older men generally fall into the pattern of being settled. Money substitutes romance. They know what they want and have been there. Many fall into the “woe is me” regarding an ex wife who might have taken him for 75% of his life savings. He may or may not be traveled, experienced or open to new ideas. At times they are stuck in a pattern of me, myself, and I. The desire to change is less likely to occur as time goes by. 

Younger men may have less life experience, but are open to new adventures. They come with a clean slate, not hindered by an ex-wife, girlfriend or children. They are eager to please and willing to go the extra mile. What they lack regarding material items is compensated by their youth, energy and vitality. 

After years on the dating scene, I do have a personal preference regarding the type of man I choose to spend quality time with. I prefer a man who is youthful, energetic and slightly sarcastic. One who takes care of himself physically, mentally and emotionally.   Someone who has a decent relationship with his friends and also one or both of his parents. A guy who is not living in the past or attached to an ex-wife or girlfriend and has forgiven whomever has harmed him. A man who wants to get to know me, in and out of the bedroom. Someone who cares about my thoughts and feelings and encourages me to be the best I can be. A man who is honest, faithful and has the ability to communicate in a manner which will not harm either of us. Most important, someone who makes me feel alive. 

Whether this man is 22 or 50, this would be the type of man I would choose to spend time with. 

A relationship is made up of two individuals. Your personal preference should never be based on age but how you feel when you are with that person. If it feels good, stick with it, if not then move on.

The biggest questions to ponder are these: are you happy? Does your partner make you feel alive? Do you want to go home at the end of the day and while sleeping next to that person, do you feel safe? 

If you are an adult, date without guilt. Do not allow your friends or family members choose your partners for you. There has yet a law to be passed regarding arranged marriages. As long as you and your partner are not harming anyone along the way, go for it! 

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