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Laura's Corner

I work very hard and am attending college to obtain my degree in the Human Service field. Writing makes me feel alive and gives me the opportunity to touch those whom I would not be able to otherwise. Last but not least, I have been blessed with two amazing daughters who love me completely and support my dreams. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or feedback.

SINGLE MOM SYNDROME

I have been a single mom for quite a few years.  My children reside with me and they visit their father one Saturday a month.  Sometimes more, which is rare, and sometimes less, which is not.

 

I have a set amount of child support and have to admit, it has assisted with the care of the growing needs of my children.  Is it enough, well, sure, but when you lose more than half of your income, probably not. 

 

My daughters, ages 17 and 18, have been a joy.  Sure, at times, it has been stressful, but everyone has their growing pains.  We have adjusted quite well into our own and have a pretty peaceful life.  Overall, I would give it a nine out of ten.

 

I recall the first time I heard those words.  You know, the, “You’re a single mom.  Go for all of the government assistance you can.  You know you don’t have to pay it back.”  Little did I know that same little bird who whispered those words traveled around the United States spreading the good news.  The Wicked Old Witch is not dead.  She works on behalf of those who are left behind.  The ones left carrying the burden of raising children on their own.  She is here to stick it to the man and take as much from him as she can along the way.  God bless (or curse) her. 

 

If there is one, only one, thing I can bring to the forefront, it’s this.  Ladies, listen up.  If you plan on having child, the very first thing you should ask yourself is this: Can I support this child on my own?  If the answer is no, I suggest you run to your gynecologist as fast as possible and get the most effective birth control you can find. 

 

As harsh as it sounds, let me dig deeper.  Marriage is not a guarantee.  Dating or living together does not hold water in a court of law.  Against the advice of Aerosmith your partner can choose to “Walk that way.”  He can come home from work, turn around, and say, “Honey, I am in love with another woman, I am leaving”, and there isn’t a darned thing you can do.  Unless, of course, you want to end up on the nightly news. 

 

Mr. Right (at least 50% from what statistics say), becomes Mr. Wrong.  He leaves, takes his income and you are left to fight for child support.  That is, if he has a job.  If he doesn’t, let’s do the math.  Seventeen percent of zero is…. zero!  Not sure how anyone can raise a child on zero in the United States, but you could be one of the very few who are gaining in numbers.

 

So, let’s say your ex makes $30,000 per year.  Seventeen percent of that is $5,100 and divide that by 12.   You will receive approximately $425 per month, that is, unless he loses his job.  Once again, seventeen percent of zero is….. zero!

 

Single moms, listen up.  No one said life would be easy.  You do not have the right to use the “single mom” excuse every single time life gets hard. 

 

Parents, the best gift you can give your child is to teach them personal responsibility.  Having sex is a choice.  If your daughter becomes pregnant, in lieu of taking the easy way out, make her work to support her baby.  In and out of the house, she is still physically able to do chores, grocery shop for the family and support herself in other ways.  Babysitting for her so she can hang out with friends is no longer an option. 

 

As a single mom, I work full time and have been since the age of 15.   I attend school three nights a week and also spend time with my teenagers.   I never once used my children as an excuse to fail.   Taking free money from the government is not within my vocabulary or mindset.  Yes, there were times I had $1.00 to my name, but still pressed forward.  Despite a layoff off, I keep on truckin’. 

 

Ladies and Gentleman, let’s give it up for single moms and dads who “Just Do It” despite their circumstances.  You know, the ones who refuse to say the dreaded phrase, “But I’m a single mom (or dad).” 

 

KUDOS TO YOU SINGLE MOMS (AND DADS) DOING IT ON THEIR OWN!!  GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK, YOU DESERVE IT!

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