As a career professional, volunteer, mom, wife, and friend, I focus on the positive aspects of life, even when the road is rough getting there. Life is funny. How you treat others, how you handle situations, and how you live each day is your responsibility ... so are the outcomes.
There are many things in life you cannot change. You cannot change, who your parents are, where you were born, or the truth as to why your parents' marriage may not have lasted. It is unfortunate for some children, a parent or the parents are more worried about their bitterness, anger, and what people may think. They place the children in the middle. The verbal fights in front of their children, the badmouthing of each other to their children, all in hopes of winning a battle where only the children suffer. I am absolutely amazed at the lies told and the games parents will play with their children's heads. For what? Some parents will never see or admit they are doing anything wrong, meanwhile, the children are torn emotionally and mentally between their parents, and eventually are forced to pick sides. In picking sides, they loose a parent, a friend, and a love, which cannot be replaced.
She was dating a guy with kids and had no children of her own. As their relationship started to grow, she thought he may be the one. There was a lot to take into consideration. Did she want an already made family? Was she ready to be a "mom"? Would they ever have children of their own together? How would his kids react? What kind of drama would the ex-wife create? Would her family accept the kids? She had much to think about and needed to figure out what type of "mom" she was going to be, if they were ever to get married.
It was Dad's (her boyfriend's) weekend. The kids were acting up one day and were beyond sassy. The Dad sent them to their room and was extremely upset with how rude and disrespectful they had been. By this time, she had developed a relationship with the kids and was comfortable speaking with them about their behavior and what was causing it. It was obvious to her, they were upset about something, and they were acting it out the only way they knew how. When she asked the kids what was going on, they told her she was not going to replace their Mom. She was taken aback by the comment. Instead of flying off the handle and yelling, she simply asked who said this to them. They proceeded to tell her, if she married their Dad, she was going to try to take the place of their Mom, because their Mom said so. In her mind, she wondered why a mother would upset her children by saying such a thing.
The kids were crying by this time, partly because their Dad was upset with them, but mostly because they believed she was going to try to take them away from their Mom. She sat on the floor of the kids' bedroom, so she was down on their level and could talk to them eye to eye. She told them she would never try to take the place of their Mom. She explained, if she and their Dad were to ever get married, she would be the best friend she could be to them. They were puzzled by the statement. They wanted to know what they were supposed to call her...mom, step-mom, by her name, could they make up a name, etc. She told them to call her what they were comfortable with. She should have thought twice about telling them that, because the goofy names started flying and next thing she knew, they were all giggling and calling each other funny names. It was at that moment, she knew she was in for the long hall, ready or not. (To be continued.)