Laura's Corner

WAC meeting regarding Daniel Acker

Posted by Laura Beyer on April 2, 2009

Hello folks,

yes, I attended the meeting tonight at West Allis Central regarding Daniel Acker.  I was quite impressed regarding the turnout of city officials from the West Allis Recreation Department to the Superintendent of the West Allis/West Milwaukee school district.

Between 7:00pm and 7:30pm quite a few parents arrived for the meeting.  They had quite a few fliers laid out for everyone regarding how to talk to your children regarding this man and others who may abuse them.  They touched on the fact it is the responsibility of the parents to talk to their children regarding good touches and bad touches, but one professional really touched on the most important issue: self esteem.  A child who has low self esteem regardless of the good touch/bad touch discussion will always seek out ways to obtain love and approval.  Many of them are the targets because abusers know which signs to look for regarding their next victim.

When they opened the room for questions, I, of course was the first to raise my hand.  I basically wondered how they were going to prevent future instances from happening.  I was hoping for the system to ensure that teachers and others working within the school system and recreation department agree to not be alone with children outside of school.  Another avenue would be to ensure teachers be in an open area similar to the library or cafeteria for any one on one tutoring.  The response from contestant number one was that of facts.  He stated that as a coach, many parents drop their child off at practice and leave without acknowledging the coach.  They put their child into the hands of a stranger based on the fact they feel they can trust this person because he or she is an educated professional.

I agree with this man.  For every abuser, there has to be a parent willing to leave their child alone with that person.  This person can be a Grandparent, Uncle or Aunt, neighbor, babysitter or even someone under your own roof.  The only way to know if your child is being abused is to have open communication from an early age on regarding sex.  When your child is informed that their body is a gift, they are more likely to treasure themselves.  

I have been open about sex since my children were the age of 5.  It has always been age appropriate and we have always been open and honest regarding that topic.  I have always told them that their body is their choice and is going to be the gift they grant to whomever they choose to spend their lives with.  Talking about your children is so much easier than we make it to be.  It should not be taboo, because intimacy within a healthy relationship is wonderful.  We have to break down the barriers because sex will be a part of your son or daughters life some day whether you would like it to be or not.  The sooner you are able to start talking the easier it will be to discuss the more developed questions which will arise from school, friends, television or the internet. 

Because I have been open about this particular subject, we have had a very positive outcome in my home.  My children are aware of the consequences regarding sexual choices yet are strong enough to avoid following the crowd.  I believe that being open has been my saving grace and allowed us to be close especially throughout the teenage years. 

I wish you the best in talking with your children.  School, church and friends can only do so much.  Be the example and live a lifestyle you wish to pass on to your grandchildren.  

Until next time...