Laura's Corner

SINGLE PARENTS BEWARE!

Posted by Laura Beyer on Oct. 31, 2008

Alright folks.  You know it's time we get real.  I am sure most of us heard about the family tragedy of Jennifer Hudson.  We know that her mother and brother were shot and killed in their family home.  We also know that for days her 7 year old nephew was missing.  He was found in the back of an SUV on Chicago's West Side on Monday.  He, too, had been shot and killed as well. 

In doing some research, I found the myspace page of Jennifer's sister, the mother of this 7 year old boy.  Her name is Julia Hudson, and the link to her page is:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=95546805

Now, if you scroll down on this page, you will find a few bits of information.  One statement that she makes is "Now because I chose to do what was natural to me and love someone, it cost me my beautiful family, my wonderful beautiful loving supporting mother Darnell, my true blue baby brother Jason, I love you Big Baby and last but never not least my only son Julian".  She also states that her weakness is: GOOD DICK.  Lovely, right? 

Going further, if you look up the rap sheet of her future ex-husband, stepfather of her 7 year old son, aka: the only suspect in the case, you will find this information.  His name is William Balfour. Balfour was paroled after service seven years for a 1999 attempted murder and vehicular hijacking conviction.  Only July 19th, police pulled over Balfour's car after hearing gunshots in the area, according to the officer's report.  They found a rock of cocaine in plain view on the driver's seat, the report stated. It had a street value of about $100.

Now, being the devils advocate.  This woman got involved with a convicted criminal.  She knew he had a rap sheet.  She exposed her only son to this monster and now she wonders why he "may have" taken the lives of her mother, brother and son. (May have meaning he is the only suspect at this time.)

Isn't it time we, especially as single parents, start making smart choices regarding whom we get involved with?  Isn't this a wake up call to all of us whose sole responsibility should be to our children and not our private parts?  I mean, how hard it is to just wait and check out the guy or girl we plan on spending time with?  This woman could have looked this guy up on CCAP within the State of Illinios and figured out that this is not the type of guy her son should be involved with.  Chances are, she probably already knew his previous criminal history when she said "I do." 

First and foremost, I suggest if you want to meet someone new, meet them in a public place.  Also, before your date, obtain as much information about your suitor.  Pass on the name and number to your closest friend or family member.  Never share your personal information with someone you date until you get to know them. Even if you sleep with someone, especially within two months, it does not mean that you know them.  Keep your children out of the situation.  Your responsibility is to protect them.   Never allow your children to be alone with someone they do not know.  Children are abused by those who have access to them.  Only leave them with a trusted friend or family member.   Studies prove that it takes 3 months before someone's true colors start showing.  An excellent book on relationships is "How to avoid marring a jerk." by Van Epp.  I suggest anyone, especially those with children, read the book ASAP. 

In closing, I suggest we take the above tragedy and use it to our own personal safety.   Take the time to get to know the person you plan on dating.  My best advice is to keep things in your pants.  It is so much easier to move on if you abstain from a sexual relationship.   Whether you have children or not, take the time to do a background check on anyone you plan on having a relationship with. The minute you find out someone has been convicted, move on.  There are plenty of guys or girls out there who have never been in trouble, so please do not settle.  I beg you, please do not become the latest statistic.  

I hope this blog helps even one person.  I know sometimes we as adults think we "need" to have a guy or girl in our lives to complete us.  The truth of the matter is, if you have children, you are already complete.  If you have friends or external family members who love you, you have so much more than anyone could ever ask for.  Focus on who is already in your life and your life will never be lonely.