I work very hard and am attending college to obtain my degree in the Human Service field. Writing makes me feel alive and gives me the opportunity to touch those whom I would not be able to otherwise. Last but not least, I have been blessed with two amazing daughters who love me completely and support my dreams. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or feedback.
Lately I have been pondering. I ponder alot actually, and this time, this particular ponder has not left my thoughts....
Men and women are very similar, yet different. We are made up differently in many ways. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, etc. I think overall we have the same needs. The need to feel loved, wanted and special. Although women will admit this much faster than men, I believe we all would love to be with someone unconditional.
My latest thoughts have brought me to one question. Why do men and women think they can write books about the opposite sex? There are so many books, "Don't be that girl", "He's just not that into you", and countless others. As a woman, I have had a few relationships with men, have been married, etc, but never once did I ever believe I could write a self-help book for men. So many women try to please men by making changes suggested by different male authors. I do agree that some women make mistakes, or are learning along the way when it comes to dating. I think that some of the "advice" is insightful, may even be "helpful" at times.
As a woman, I have come to a place where I believe it takes a self-revelation for someone to make changes within themselves. It takes a thought such as, "this is not working for me", or "I am meeting the wrong kind of guys", that may turn the light on. I know for myself it took me awhile to do some fine tuning. I came to realize that what I was doing, when it came to dating, was not working. I had to finally make changes, slowly but surely, to redefine who I was as a person. I believe I met many people along the way that helped to shape me into whom I have become. Through my relationships, with friends or dates, I have come to realize that it is because of those relationships that I have become a more centered, positive person. I have come to realize that I deserve a healthy relationship.
Healthy for me means so many things. It means I can be myself with the person I choose to spend time with. It also means that I will not be asked to change nor do I have the right to request anyone else to change. Having a healthy relationship means that if you meet someone, and they are not your cup of tea, you realize that should move on, sooner than later. It was quite some time ago that it hit me, you must accept someone for who they are, not as you want them to be. Believing that someone "might" change, or "give up" a certain behavior in unrealistic. They may enjoy that behavior, even if it may be "unhealthy" in your eyes.
So, ladies and gentleman, instead of picking up the next self-help or dating book, try to look at what hasn't worked in your life. Change is a minute by minute process. If you are able to make one change in your life, even for one day, to improve yourself, you are succeeding. And, when you begin to succeed, you will find others on the same path to success and join you along the way.
UNTIL NEXT TIME AMERICA!