I work very hard and am attending college to obtain my degree in the Human Service field. Writing makes me feel alive and gives me the opportunity to touch those whom I would not be able to otherwise. Last but not least, I have been blessed with two amazing daughters who love me completely and support my dreams. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or feedback.
My sisters and I were taught respect for our elders. This meant when Grandpa walked into the living room, we were to part faster than the Red Sea. If any adult walked into the room, children were required to sit on the floor, giving up all rights to their favorite seat in any room of the house. Although we didn't say "Yes Maam, Yes Sir", we were taught to listen, obey and be pleasant. Oh how far we've come.
My daughters were taught respect for themselves and others. They knew how to communicate with adults and refrained from causing chaos out and about. If they got out of line, it was dealt with immediately. I recall one time, a confession took place. I was informed my oldest had written with permanent magic marker on a sign attached to her school yard. Low and below, as I arrived home and headed that way, a sign, with her handwriting appeared before my eyes. We immediately went to Walgreens, picked up some Comet Cleanser, water and a towel. We went back to the school and scrubbed that sign clean. I then had her write a letter of apology to her Principal and went straight to school the next day for her to read the letter and make a confession. The Principal told my daughter, "You are lucky to have a mom like her, you will never forget this when you have children of your own."
Throughout school, my daughters did well. They never got into trouble, but for the minor teenage disputes. They attended, respected their teachers and did well. They also respected themselves, which is the most important aspect of becoming an attractive young woman. Today, as most of us know, they are out and about, living their own lives. I believe they are still making good choices due to their upbringing. Am I naive, absolutely not, due to the fact that I have my fair share of experiences. Yet all in all, they're surviving and most likely thriving.
I've had the displeasure of witnessing a disintegration within the youth of today. I am seeing parents who are best pals with their children, feeding their every want and need. Young girls who are using language which belongs in an adult forum. Children, viewing material via the internet and other which is causing them to not only disrespect themselves but everyone else around them, including adults and the elderly.
A recent experience had me floored. A young girl, not yet 10, talking back, hitting, shoving, slapping her parent, talking back to every person in the room, including myself. I had seen enough. I took a stand and insisted that she respect and listen, immediately. After the guests had departed, her parent and I sat down and I said, "Next time, there will be a consequence, and immediate consequence. You will either go to your room, have your cell phone taken away or both."
By the age of 5, a child should know his or her boundaries. They should understand that with every action, positive or negative, there will be a reaction. They shouldn't be "explained to" or given 10 additional chances. Without a swift kick in the wants and needs, that child believes and knows that regardless of their behavior, mom or dad really won't do anything but talk. They may be "grounded" for a short time, but eventually mom or dad gives in because they're tired and fighting against one, two or three stronger willed kids.
Parents, listen up! It is your job to do whatever it takes to produce compassionate, loving, kind, respectful children. Outside of your home, it is a cruel, unassuming world. Not everyone is going to love LIttle Johnny. In fact, the less structure, boundaries and respect a child has, it's guaranteed they will be living high off your hog for a very long time.
To those of us who have survived, kudos to you! Enjoy your "retirement" ....