I work very hard and am attending college to obtain my degree in the Human Service field. Writing makes me feel alive and gives me the opportunity to touch those whom I would not be able to otherwise. Last but not least, I have been blessed with two amazing daughters who love me completely and support my dreams. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or feedback.
I've been pondering since my last blog. How do I wrap things up given the sensitivity of the situation? I came up with a few thoughts, ideas and such and believe I have insight. This may or may not be of necessity to you, but it sure has helped put things into perspective for my girlfriends and I.
In the age of divorce, a certain amount of individuals have chosen to take the path of least resistance. Booty call, casual sex or friends with benefits, a great many have chosen this alternative. No matter the reasoning, some are claiming it's easy and breezy to have commitment free dates. As stated in a previous comment, I have had casual relationships at times. I am still friends with a majority of individuals I have spent time with and am fortunate to have been involved with some amazing persons.
Casual to me means one of two things; short term potential or friendship. I have friends I eat with, see movies with and do festivals and more with. Whatever the case, I've adjusted to doing things on my own. This gives me opportunities to meet new and exciting people along the way.
The world of internet dating has put an entirely new spin on how to approach someone. Regardless of desire, it's just a click away to delve into your deepest, darkest needs. Men and women are getting bolder and braver, sending emails that would make a porn star blush. It has gotten so out of control that it's almost impossible to tell the good from the dirty. I'm going to touch on my experience and that of men in women trying to walk a fine line.
Anyone can set up a profile on a number of free dating sites. I suggest you do this yourself to get a feel of what women experience today. I triple dog dare you to set up a fictitious account. List yourself as an athletic, hard working woman looking for fun. No need to submit a picture, the termites will crawl out of the woodwork faster than you can say "Hi"! Heck, all I have to do is let you peek into mine and you will soon understand it's almost a full time job fighting off the Tysons of the world.
That said, let's just say that a great majority of individuals are taking the path of least resistance. Maybe I'm right, could possibly be wrong, yet I believe I'm onto something. The sooner a man (or woman) is allowed to get to home plate, the less time they're willing, if at all, to spend time at any other bases.
Stick with me. For individuals to like one another, they have to invest in one another. Getting to know someone outside of the bedroom is a sacrifice. Listening, showing empathy and caring about another gives us the opportunity to establish a connection. Once a connection is made, we begin to think with our minds, hearts and spirits. Upon that experience, we begin to care about and connect with someone on a deeper level. We know this to be true because our greatest relationships have been non-physical. From family to best friends, we love and care about others simply because we know them and have been connected to them for a time.
That said, let's discuss the inevitable. A one night stand leads to the avoidance of the mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This path blinds us to warning signs and red flags. The minute both individuals experience physical pleasure, they begin to rely upon the act and may forgo moving forward in their lives. It's quite difficult to take a U-turn after one has made this choice. After all, why would one want to put in the time and effort after it's been given so freely?
After walking with my friend through her recent experience and pondering my own choices, I know one thing for sure. I want to run through the bases. I want to tie in the 9th and go the extra innings. I enjoy the hand holding, making out and cuddling. I enjoy looking forward to the date, the good night kiss, the amazing adventure of getting to know someone. The ability to take the time to find out if we're meant for a time or a season. I enjoy the anticipation; if Heinz Ketchup can do it, so can I.
We can't blame anyone for wanting to take the path of least resistance. Which one of us hasn't wanted a break in life? Yet, in dealing with human emotions, love and the forever after, isn't it worth working towards and investing in?
It's never too late for a do-over. It's never too late to end a friends with benefits situation. It's never too late to let go of that man or woman who isn't the person you dreamt of waking up next to. If you desire something new, put one foot in front of the other and walk in a new direction.
Until next time!!