I work very hard and am attending college to obtain my degree in the Human Service field. Writing makes me feel alive and gives me the opportunity to touch those whom I would not be able to otherwise. Last but not least, I have been blessed with two amazing daughters who love me completely and support my dreams. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or feedback.
Hello everyone and of course, Happy Holidays.... I would have said Merry Christmas, but of course, I am trying to cover everyone and their beliefs as well.
I wanted to make these posts more of an open forum. Get everyone's opinions, so to speak. The first topic of the season which is so important is SAFETY.
Hello everyone, and once again, Happy Holidays!
I believe although the economy is in a slump, most of us still feel the "pull" to purchase Christmas gifts for everyone on our list. We spend days, hours and minutes, even facing horrible weather conditions, to complete our shopping. I mean, what kind of a guy or girl would forget Grandma, Grandpa, mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins, first cousins, second cousins, stepmoms, stepdads and Fido? All joking aside, ever since I became a single parent years ago, I made it very clear to my friends and family. No gifts for me, the kids, yes, but me, no. A Christmas card is great, but the most important gift is the relationship itself. If I need or want something, I will eventually buy it.
Oh, how fast the season approaches regarding Christmas time. Do you
recall your last holiday season? Are you similar to myself regarding
gifts? The last minute type of shopper? The promise that you will
shop earlier next year, possibly even beginning in January? Although
the intention is usually there, I know for a fact that each and every
year will be the same. Not even a New Years resolution could help with
Yet, this season, especially regarding the economy, may be very different. I know for me it is. Having been downsized has certainly changed my plans. Life as we know it changed last September and being in the mortgage industry, well, let's just say it hasn't gotten much better. Fortunately, I have very little debt, but even shopping for food has changed in a way. I am blessed to say that my children are old enough to understand, which is half the battle. They know that we had to cut back on certain entertainment items, but it has definitely brought us closer as a family.
Believe it or not, I have made it a point to have a certain discussion with my children a couple of times a year. Given the fact we are very close, it is fairly easy for me to open up and begin this without needing distractions of any sort. I consider it a gift. Not only to them, but to myself as well. It's a sort of "home improvement" without the interest rate. I am hoping the example I am going to present will be a sort of gift for your family. In lieu of presents, feel free to make this the most important one of all.
The one question I ask my children is, "What can I do to improve our family?" Another way to put it is, "Is there anything I am doing to push you away from me, or cause you to not trust me?"
I think most of us as parents believe we are doing our best, and I believe we are. Whatever works for you as a mom or dad means that you are either getting positive results or your children are for the most part behaving themselves. Although I may not disagree with other parenting styles, it is really not my business. Therefore, I usually keep my opinions to myself, unless you ask of course!
Yet, how often do we ever consider our way may not be the best way for everyone living in our home? I mean, I know as a mom what I would like for my family. I know that I want my daughters to do what is morally correct. I would like to see them get through high school unscathed. I try my best to listen and sometimes bite my tongue regarding the behavior of some of their friends. I think I am doing a pretty good job and so far, my kids do as well.
I have to admit, ever since they were very young I have always discussed sex within marriage. Over time, as they got older, I became maybe a bit over-zealous. I wanted to ensure they were hearing what I said and hopefully would not stray from our original beliefs. I already had the drugs and alcohol discussion down to a tee, so I was not worried so much about that. Yet, it is has been quite the experience when I have posed the above questions to my own daughters. Believe it or not, my daughters honestly told me that I no longer had to talk about sex as much. They said "they got it" and if they had questions, they would ask me. Since then, I have pretty much backed off and respected their request.
Another couple of requests my daughters brought to my attention were mostly regarding personal space, our time together and they believed in the past I "talked on the phone too much." I had to remind them that as much as they need their friends, I need mine as well. I do believe that at times they may be jealous that someone else is getting my attention. Oh yes, they also stated that when I am writing my articles on the computer I completely zone out. No matter what, when I am reading or writing, it's true, I do zone out. I gently reminded the girls that if they want my attention, to please walk up and pat me on the arm.
I think the greatest gift I have given to my children is the fact they can trust me. They know that they have a voice in our home. They believe 100% that no matter what, I still love them. I accept them as they are and believe in them. They know their voice matters and is heard. They believe I will do everything in my power to ensure our home is a safe place.
I believe the greatest gifts we can give to our loved ones this holiday season is to re-establish our relationships and vow to put 110% into each and every one of them. The most important part of revising a relationship is to realize that it takes one person to begin the process, YOU! Ask your children and your spouse two questions. "What draws you towards me and what causes you to run away from me?" Make a list of what you love most about one another. It is so easy to point fingers and tell others what they have done wrong or what you would like to see them doing different. Remember, it is very important to be open and listen during this process. Sometimes what our loved ones wish for us to change may be a hard pill to swallow. No-one is perfect, nope, not even me! Each new day gives us the opportunity to become new and improved.
I wish everyone a safe and happy holiday season.