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Laura's Corner

I work very hard and am attending college to obtain my degree in the Human Service field. Writing makes me feel alive and gives me the opportunity to touch those whom I would not be able to otherwise. Last but not least, I have been blessed with two amazing daughters who love me completely and support my dreams. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or feedback.

I doubt it?

Absolutely not!

Let's just say you are trucking along in life. You’re doing a-ok, at least in your eyes. Your life, for the most part, is within normal limits. Once in a while you do something out of the ordinary, add a little spice to your life. Whether it’s a trip, tattoo, hair style, new friend, hobby or other, you’ve decided to go in a new direction. Maybe you’ve started dating or joined a website for that particular purpose. Either way, there’s always going to be someone, in your inner circle, who has something to say. And usually it’s not a good thing.

From my own personal experience, let me tell you. Learning to deal with the nay-sayers isn’t always easy. It’s tough, especially if these people are a part of your daily life. They may even be living with you, always in your ear, looking over your shoulder. With the magic of the World Wide Web, more than ever, extended family members and friends are able to give their input however they desire. They’re ready to knock a person down. With just one word, they can bring you to your knees, make you say, “I doubt it, I now doubt my decision, am I doing the right thing, maybe I should cease and desist, refrain from this venture.” Let me tell you, it’s exactly the result they’re looking for.

Let’s go there, yes I said it. We are going there. I am going to help you learn to be strong, to live your life and do so without feeling doubt, guilt or reservation. 

I’ll give you a brief synopsis of my life. I am currently 42 years old. At the age of 30, upon my divorce, I decided to get my first tattoo. Since then, I’ve gotten 12.  I’ve colored my hair numerous times, more times than one can remember. I’ve gone from blonde to bright red, per my pic, and everything in between. I’ve always done something with my hair. Since the age of teen I’ve been getting perms. Within the last couple of years, I’ve begun photography and art, acrylics to be exact. I have friends all over the U.S. and a couple outside as well. I head out every single weekend to do whatever and rarely have a plan. As for my personal life, that’s for me to know, you to probably never find out. 

According to many, I am not living outside the ordinary. I say yes to life and am open to new and exciting opportunities. I’ve reconnected with my first kiss, first “experience” and first love. Who else can say that besides me? Not many. 

How does one begin to say heck yes to life and most past the voices which say, “You’re wrong, don’t do that, you know that you’re going to live to regret it.” This is how.

For someone like me, raised in an alcoholic home, joining AlAnon way back in 1993 saved my life. I learned how to set proper boundaries and say NO. I learned it was ok to break free from unhealthy people and build walls strong enough to protect me from the backlash which comes from moving forward. I now spot negative and unhealthy behaviors and am able to politely decline any invites received. I keep certain individuals at a distance, some, completely separate from my life. I no longer feel guilty avoiding certain parties, regardless of birthdays, anniversaries, etc. 

Saying “No, that’s not for me”, takes time. It’s not easy, especially if you’ve been raised in a dysfunctional home which had no boundaries. The type of home where it was stated you must say yes and do as you’re told. The type of home where you don’t question, you just follow the rules, or else. Although, I must say, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with rules. Yet when one makes decisions for the entire family, without input from the rest, it does create a hive type of structure. 

That said, the minute you get an inch of a backbone, exercising your rights to individuality is tough. Many times, we cave, because it’s easier than fighting the entire world. Yet, unless you do the work and continue to repeat yourself, stand your ground and do what makes you happy, you will never feel the bliss of sweet success.

It’s taken me 20 years to stand my ground. There are moments, minutes even, where that still small voice in your being says, “Maybe they’re right, maybe you should stop.” That is the second you must stop and ask yourself. “Does this behavior justify a call from Jerry Springer, Judge Judy or Dr. Phil? Is what I’m doing harming my physical, emotional and mental health? Could it be that someone just doesn’t like me, are they jealous and maybe, just maybe, I’m living a life they’ve always dreamed of?” More often than not, the truth lies within the last question. This is the very reason anyone would dissuade you from following your wants, dreams or desires.

We are not put on this earth to answer to anyone but ourselves. Granted, there are guidelines we must follow to avoid jail time.  Life is worthwhile if we have stories: good, bad, exciting, thrilling, sad, etc. There will come a time when we will all slow down and are no longer able to physically and mentally say yes.  Don’t wait until that time. It may hit you sooner than you think. Take chances, face your fears, go for it and write the most exciting biography of all time, your own. 

Per the great Billy Joel:

My Life

I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright

I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home

I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life

Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

I never said you had to offer me a second chance

(I never said you had to)

I never said I was a victim of circumstance

(I never said)

I still belong, don't get me wrong

You can speak your mind

But not on my time

They will tell you, you can't sleep alone in a strange place

Then they'll tell you, you can't sleep with somebody else

Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space

Either way it's okay to wake up with yourself

I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life

Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

(Keep it to yourself, it's my life.)

(Keep it to yourself, it's my life.)

(Keep it to yourself, it's my life.)

(Keep it to yourself, it's my life.)

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