Laura's Corner

Resolutions and such

Posted by Laura Beyer on Dec. 28, 2011

Each year around this time, I begin to think of the who, what, where, when and why of the resolution. For some, it’s a time to purge.   For others, it’s a time to work out, rehab or may be a promise of change. Whatever category you fall into, we continue to make the same commitments as last year and the year prior.

It’s almost impossible to give up something which has been a part of your existence. Drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, materialism, excess, etc, all have a tight hold and have no plans on letting go. They’re available, around and will always be within arm’s reach. Those we relate to are an intrinsic part of these situations as well. Birds of a feather, well, you know. 

I have changed my mind about the giving up part of the New Year. Instead, this year, I plan on adding to. 

2011 was a particularly different year for me. Life went in directions which weren’t on my personal map. I certainly wasn’t prepared for what occurred, yet with the help of friends, I was able to keep my head above water. 

To those who have struggled with desires which take from in lieu of adding to, I understand. Although I am not a shopaholic, I love hitting the thrift store. It was on my mind more often than not. Saturday morning came and off I went. Finding deals and steals at a fraction of the price gives me a certain high. Finding that certain days gave an additional percentage off caused a swelling in my heart. A buck fifty for a sweater? How can I go wrong? 

That said, let’s talk basics. So many have the desire to shed excess pounds and have been through the ringer regarding diet and more. Quit smoking? Best of luck! Weekly binges with alcohol? What else would I do with friends? Visits to the casino? And give up the possibility of the win, no way Jose! 

“At my age, what’s the big deal? It’s my life, what difference does it make?” How many more excuses must we give ourselves before we are out of house and home?

Adding different behaviors to your life takes commitment and work. Getting to the gym, giving up an addiction, saying “no” to food, the casino and shopping is hell.  No one said this was going to be easy but the payoff is oh so sweet. 

Before responsibility, when youth was at your fingertips, what were your favorite activities? Enjoy spending time with friends, reading, sports, going to the park, painting, maybe fishing?  Before you gave up a great portion of your life to commit to your spouse and children, what were your dreams? If they existed once, they are still somewhere deep, buried within your memory. 

I was not an athlete. I wasn’t an outside type of kid. Regardless of the fact I am 6’1” and the high school basketball coach bugged me every single day, I didn’t do sports. Watching, yes, but participating, no.

I now head to the gym 4-5 days a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. I feel absolutely fantastic. My back pain is gone, my energy level up. Don’t get me wrong, I was looking for a quick fix. I didn’t believe I had to give up ice cream, pizza and other yummy delicious foods. After a couple of months, I began to see results. I talked with those who had it and asked for their honest opinions. For each man and woman at their physical peak, they live a certain life. And they don’t feel as if they’ve given anything up. Instead, they have gained so much more and look fantastic as well.

Along with working out, I now paint, do photography, communicate with friends, walk and keep a journal on a regular basis. I find myself living a much more peaceful existence. I am happier, relaxed and find myself not worrying about that which I can’t control.

Have you struggled every year with impossible resolutions, ones that fade after a week or two? The solution I find helpful is adding positive behaviors to your life. The busier you are the less time you have for chaos, drama and negativity. Instead of focusing on what is not, take a look around. Many times we miss out on the roses part of life. When was the last time you went for a ride, just because? How about taking a walk with your son or daughter? The last time you went on a date with your spouse? Do you enjoy bubble baths, massages and relaxation?   

This is your year. Commit to 5 minutes of you time every single day. Encourage your spouse and children to do the same. Each week, add more time. It’s time to stop feeling guilty. Understand that you are important, necessary and must be watered on a regular basis. Instead of focusing on whatever damage may have occurred during many years of your life, take the time to invest on reversing the process. 

Make 2012 the year of additions. With a little work, and a whole lot of self-love, you will find yourself with less regrets and so many more experiences.

Happy New Year!!!