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A day in the life of a couch potato

Bowling, Fantasy Football, Football, Fox 6, Green Bay Packers, Las Vegas, My-Sugar-Na, NFL, PBA Tour, Poetry, Poker, YouTube

(This blog will be continually updated on Sunday 12-11-11, as long as I have something interesting to say.)


It dawned on me, this is Week 14 of the NFL season, and I have yet to spend an entire Sunday honoring Lord Football.

On a couple of early season weekends I bowled in tournaments.  I went to a Brewers playoff game.  There was a weekend that I was in Las Vegas.  I was at Bunker's for a chili contest.  We moved all the way across West Allis.  13 weekends of "stuff", and today I have absolutely nothing planned.

Of course, I didn't have anything planned yesterday, and I ended up going into work for a few hours, lunch with the in-laws, on-line Christmas shopping, a nap and attending The Muppets at night (which is probably a better movie for someone my age than for the teenage daughters.) (Side note; I am a man.  I am a Muppet of a man).


So let's see if today I can pull off potatoing...

6:09 AM CST - Vier Pogo Squad 51 jumps on me to take him outside.  I feign sleeping through it, and My-Sugar-Na gets up and lets him out.  That's why I love her so...

7:40 AM - The dog jumps on me again.  The wife feigns sleeping through it, and I get up with him.  Stinkin' filth and flarn and foul on her...

10:00 AM - I'm taking this lounging around seriously.  I am laying on the couch, kind of dozing off.  My-Sugar-Na finally gets out of bed, and announces "Are you trying to sleep?"  She is now losing 2-1.

10:30 AM - One of the things that is missing from a Lord Football Sunday is obsessing about my Fantasy Football line-up.  For the past five years, I have ended 7-6-1 or 7-7.  But this year, based on some keen (read:accidental) drafting in getting Cam Newton and Rob Gronkowski, I am currently 9-3-1 and a lock for the Final Four.  I don't have to worry about my FFL line-up until Christmas Eve.

11:00 AM - I turn on the NFL Today on CBS.  I am not crazy about what has happened to NFL pregame shows over the last 15 years.  A whole bunch of ex-jocks and ex-coaches with so much time to fill... when they are not out-shouting wise cracks with each other, they are hammering on the same stories week after week... Can the Packers go undefeated (or, why they will/won't go undefeated)? Will the Colts draft Andrew Luck and if so, what do they do with Peyton Manning? Can the Jets or Giants make the playoffs (because the world revolves around the east coast)?  Well, CBS's show is way less annoying than the NFL on FOX.  FOX has both Mike Strahan and Terry Bradshaw acting like idiots, CBS only has Shannon Sharpe.  And the extra push for CBS is the Charlie Casserly segment.

11:05 AM - I have the NFL Today paused on the DVR, because ESPN just started a segment on Clay Matthews sack dance, taken from The Predator movie.

11:30 AM - During a commercial on CBS, I switch over the FOX and Jay Glazer is stating that there is no way that the Colts trade Manning, but it is pretty certain that they will draft Luck.

11:45 AM - The NFL Today does a segment with Clay Matthews, BJ Raji and Charles Woodson.  The segment ends with the discussion of the Packers sweeping the schedule, and that the only thing to stop the Packers are the Packers.

11:50 AM - On an NFL Today roundtable segment, they discuss if the Colts should trade Manning, trade Luck, or keep them both.

11:51 AM - My dislike of NFL pregame shows is reinforced.  They are all saying the same thing.

11:59 AM - Trying to decide which NFL game to watch... New England at Washington or Minnesota at Detroit.

12:00 Noon - I choose the Pro Bowlers Tour and one of the eliminator rounds to qualify for the PBA World Championship.

12:15 PM - I have bailed on the Pro Bowlers Tour.  Someone within the ESPN or PBA empire decided to once again get fancy with the camera angles, as if they know the bowling is no longer important, rather they need something else to ge people to watch.  I am getting seasick watching it, so I switch over to the Vikings/Lions game.

12:20 PM - Some guy I never heard of scored a long TD for Detroit to give them a 14-0 lead.  This game is over.  Switching to CBS.

12:30 PM - Watching CBS and Rob Gronkowski scores again.  They they throw it to JB for a game break, and they show a highlight of Cam Newton scoring a touchdown pass.  Like I said, they were just lucky guesses on FFL draft day.

12:40 PM - Checking my Twitter feed for various football updates (@mjames1229), and see a tweet from the Palomino Bar in Bay View, and it mentions "haiku football day".  I checked their website, and though the special today of Chicken & Waffles (which my wife is dying to try) the "haiku football day" is not explained.  So for grins, let me try...

Palomino Bar / Offers haiku football day / Don't know what that is

12:55 PMDID YOU SEE THAT PLAY from Washington?  Rex Grossman handed off to Roy Helu, reverse to Brandon Banks, who threw the WR Option to Santana Moss.  Other than that coming straight out of a high school football team playbook, that was sweet. 

1:30 PM - Too lazy to drive my car three blocks to Magoo's, I instead make half a frozen pizza on the Pizzazz Pizza Maker.  I really do like this little gadget, but it takes up so much room in the kitchen.  If I don't use it a lot, it may get assigned a lesser status, like my Juiceman Juicer or my Popeil Electric Pasta Maker (and I don't exactly know where they are in the new place).

1:45 PM - You know, the Cincinnati Bengals aren't a horrible team, you'd think a competitive professional football team would draw a few more fans on a relatively nice Sunday afternoon.

1:55 PM - I hate commercials.  I find no use for them (not with what I already pay for TV).  But I love the Geico commercial where the guy taught his hamsters to row in a tank so that he can afford to surf the internet.  "Row.  Such a simple word."

2:30 PM - Some may say I procrastinate, but I say that I am a busy beaver.  I just poured the 35 pounds of peanut oil from the turkey deep fryer back into the oil's plastic bottle.  Didn't make nearly the mess this year than I have in previous years.

2:35 PM - Just got a text that one of my poker buddies (I'll call him Pat) just landed in Las Vegas for a trade show, and that as soon as they got the rental car, they headed over to Rum Runner's to watch the Packers game.  I hate him.

3:05 PM - Getting sleepy, wondering how I am going to make it through the Packers game.  I don't like these afternoon games.  Much better is with the Packers play at Noon, end around 3:30, then I can be asleep in the recliner by 4:00.

3:25 PM - Ryan Grant, another player on my fantasy team, just scored.  I don't need the win today.  Save them for a couple of weeks.

4:45 PM - Can I help that the game isn't particularly exciting?  After a brief nap (it must have been brief, as I didn't miss any scoring plays) I woke up bored.  How can an undefeated team be playing a division leader and have it highly non-exciting?  The Packers may be too good.

5:05 PM - I think it is dinner time, but I've been told that I am making dinner tonight, so maybe it will wait until after the game.  On the menu is a Grilled Ham and Cheese sandwich, with real cheese on Breadsmith Rustic Italian bread.  Mine will likely have a splotch of yellow mustard and some sliced onion. 

5:10 PM - The replay system is broken at Lambeau Field, Raiders get hosed.

5:15 PM - My buddy is still in Las Vegas.  I still hate him.  I have this feeling I will get a text about 2 in the morning (Midnight in Vegas) telling me he won a poker tournament.

6:00 PM - Time to start dinner.  However, still putting the game on "pause" (just in case Tebow suits up for the Raiders or something).

6:10 PM - Still bored and checking my Twitter feed, and it is blowing up with comments about another Tim Tebow comeback... Makes me wonder if CBS switched the rest of the country away from a blowout in Green Bay and to a close game in Denver.  Why doens't this happen when WE'RE stuck with a 37-3 game?

7:20 PM - Dinner is complete (another win for our hero) and now we wait for The Amazing Race finale to begin.  Staying with the football theme, I am pulling for Amani and Marcus Pollard - which would be the first win for the Colts since about forever.

7:40 PM - Took Gooey home before The Amazing Race, then started the show.

8:00 PM - One of the tasks was to land a Lear Jet flight simulator.  Ernie and Cindy did it right away.  Jeremy and Sandy took two turns.  My team - Amani and Marcus - got it on their 12th try.  Guess I backed the wrong horse.

8:30 PM - Ernie and Cindy won.  During a cutaway, Marcus (in praising his wife) told the camera that he'd take her over any quarterback or linebacker.  I hope Peyton Manning and Cato June weren't watching.

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