Laura's Corner

Grow up and drink the coffee..

Posted by Laura Beyer on Aug. 1, 2011

Throughout the summer, one of my favorite activities includes live music.  Not only do I love to “sing” under the guise of loud music, the dancing gets me every time.  Just like whipped cream and a cherry, summertime friends top it off.  There is nothing like catching up while rocking to the beat.

I recently hit up a church festival.  Three stages allowed a variety for listening pleasure.  As I wandered, I thought, where can I find bottled water?  After stopping at two or three vendors, reality hit.  Only one small booth had what I desired.  So much for being a non-alcoholic type of girl.

I know drinking is a Wisconsin kind of thing.  It’s the norm.  Yet, why IS it the norm?  Isn’t this the type of activity which takes lives?  Not usually that of the offender; an innocent bystander, not expecting life to be over simply because someone HAD to have a nice cold six. 

In listening with my sober ears, I have heard every excuse in the book, more than the good old “headache” excuse. 

“I had a rough day, felt like blowing off some steam, I only had 4, maybe 5, it was hot, it was cold, gets me through, my friends drink more, I’m a lightweight compared to them, I’m bored, I can’t say no how cool would that be, it’s boring to drink water and soda, I wouldn’t have a good time, it gives me enough courage with the ladies, yada yada yada.”  Need I say more?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not perfect.  I have had more than my fair share of learning experiences.  I am still on the merry-go-round of something or other at the present time. 

When it comes to reasoning, let me explain.  I don’t want to call my daughter to explain why I won’t be home tonight.  I don’t have enough money to post bail.  I don’t want to ruin my perfectly good butt (in jail) by taking it from someone bigger and stronger than myself.   Last but not least, I don’t want to take your life or the life of your child and/or entire family when I could have “just said no”. 

If you’re a grown up, I could care less if you drink.  I am not judging you simply because I choose not to. All I am saying is that I really need you to leave me the hell alone about it when we are out and about. 

Because of past experience, I choose to invest in men who drink much less than more.  The ones who refrain from drinking under the table or invest their retirement in bar tabs.  The guys whose best friends are Tom and Mike, not Jack or Jose. 

I am not going to bug you to drink water, please don’t but me to have “just one, and one more after that”.  Why am I such a threat to you?  Am I not good enough to hang out with?  Don’t you understand no means no?  When I say I just want water, you suddenly become hard of hearing.  I am more than willing to do sign language or yell loud enough to get my point across. 

Not one of us has ever stated, “When I grow up I want to be an alcoholic.”  Yet, without a certain amount of strength and the ability to say no, you may join the millions who come to rely on this substance for mere survival.

Just like Politics and Religion, I am begging you; when we are out and about, leave the topic of Alcohol alone.  If it’s that uncontrollable an urge, find someone who has the same idea regarding consumption.  There are many more of you than there are of me.   I won’t be offended in the least bit.

Being a minority in the world of alcohol is something I have survived.   If you choose to consume and find yourself in hot water, I won’t ever say, “I told you so”, it’s not my style.  All I ask is that you refrain from waking me up at 3am to post bail.  I don’t have enough for yours either.