I work very hard and am attending college to obtain my degree in the Human Service field. Writing makes me feel alive and gives me the opportunity to touch those whom I would not be able to otherwise. Last but not least, I have been blessed with two amazing daughters who love me completely and support my dreams. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or feedback.
As a follow up to my previous blog, I thought long and hard. Someone posed a question about becoming best friends with your future partner. I decided to whip something up. Hopefully it’s light and fluffy, bakes right and comes out of the oven deliciously.
Expectations with dating cause some to avoid the scene altogether. What’s the 3 day rule? A guy waits three days to call? What’s the 3 date rule? There must be some sort of sexual exchange? We must find out if the car has a 4 cylinder or a V8? After a few thoughts, I decided to go in a completely new direction.
Dating is a job. It takes time, money and energy. Dating websites are a win/lose situation. If you email or wink enough, chances are, someone will respond. If you avoid that route, you must catch the eye of a potential interest and get the strength to exchange a few words. If a mutual attraction occurs, numbers are traded and we walk away with the hopes of a future call. If we like one another, a date is set, let’s hope it goes well. If not, we hope we can find the guts to release ourselves gently.
What if we could avoid the trap altogether, save our money and find others who have mutual interests without the internet. Why bother exchanging 20 emails only to find out that we have been duped by an individual who is 50 pounds heavier in person. What if you can build a friendship and move towards something healthier than not? Would you go for it?
How about this, take it or leave it. What if I knew a guy, a great guy who is just a friend? We have mutual ideas about life and respect one another. My girlfriend also knows a great guy, someone she is just friends with as well. What happens if the four of us head out, to a festival, as friends, no expectations, just four adults, enjoying the company of one another? What if we continue to spend time together, the four of us and continue to invite others to join our group? Eventually the gang grows and we all establish a circle of best friendship. So on and so forth. You catch my drift.
Spending time with others without the expectations of dating allows us to be ourselves. We get to know each other without the façade of having to look, act, behave and respond in a certain manner. Remove the stress of not knowing if he/she likes you just as much as you like them. No worries if they call within 3 days. How great is that???
In order for this group to work, there must be unwritten rules. No individual dates or exchanging phone numbers with sexual interests for 2 months. This group is for the interest of friendship only. We are joining together to establish trust, honesty and camaraderie. Each member’s goal is to uplift and better one another, not have a personal agenda regarding love, dating or sex.
After two months of friendship, or the “getting to know you” period, you are free to explore dating. By then, you will know if you have more than sexual attraction in common. What better than to date someone you respect, and most important, like?
Release yourself from “dating”. Focus, instead, on friendship, fun, and (especially now) the sun!