I work very hard and am attending college to obtain my degree in the Human Service field. Writing makes me feel alive and gives me the opportunity to touch those whom I would not be able to otherwise. Last but not least, I have been blessed with two amazing daughters who love me completely and support my dreams. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or feedback.
Present or not, fathers are a vital part of every child’s life. When dad fails to parent, mom must step up to the plate to put in her 150% to ensure that child does not fall to the wayside.
We are not guaranteed that our children will turn out to be “practically perfect in every way”. The bible does not include the word fair at all.
Growing up, my father was a hands off kind of guy. He was not overly emotional, nor did he express his love often, if ever. He had been raised in an abusive home and was ill equipped regarding emotional support. It wasn’t until we were older and sobriety kicked in that he realized the error of his ways and made the much needed changes to become the Dad we knew and loved.
Although my father was not emotionally present, we had a very strong family structure which included a Grandfather and many uncles who filled the void regarding male authority figures. Because of constant contact regarding family parties and holidays, we were usually within their presence on a weekly basis.
Catholic Church allowed us the opportunity to have a healthy fear of God as our heavenly father. This belief carried over into our own family. That healthy fear transferred over into the adult male figure roles.
If a dad is not present in the life of his child, another adult male must step forward to ensure that child is raised with respect for male and female authority.
In the good old days, mom threatened “wait until your father gets home”. Now that father is not coming home, mom must rely on herself for discipline. We have had a total shift in guidance and authority which has not always had a positive outcome.
A woman may be able to fill the male role model, yet a son will always view himself through his father. He wants to learn how to be strong, independent and able to care for his own family someday. In order to be successful, he must learn how to respect himself, adult males and, most important, women.
A girl needs her father for many reasons as well. He is the example of how men behave towards women. If he is abusive, she will choose men who use degrading words and fists. She has been groomed to accept and finds this the norm. Any man of honor will be “too boring” for her and she will reject him for yet another abuser.
Among us are many fantastic, admirable, successful and wonderful I am one of them. Although my children were raised with a male figure for the first 10 years of their lives, the past 10 have been very different. Because time was very limited between visits, I took the lead and did my very best to ensure my children felt loved. They also knew they would have food, warmth, clean clothing and a safe place to live. We are not the wealthiest family in the world, but a child who knows he or she is loved far succeeds any material wealth..
To the women who have done whatever it has taken to raise their own and others children, I salute you!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!