Laura's Corner

I am not white...

Posted by Laura Beyer on Oct. 25, 2010

and you, my friend, are not black, brown, pink or yellow…

Throughout the year, I am many different shades, primarily a light tan color.  Although I do not have a color palette within reach, I can state in all honesty that I have never, nor will I ever, be as white as the paper I type on.

Some “white” individuals tan throughout the summer and become darker than “black” individuals.  “Black” individuals have been lighter skinned than some “white” individuals.  How then can we justify labeling someone by the color of their skin?    

What is white? What is black?  Is it a state of mind, an emotional response to any given situation?  The way we speak, walk and talk; our demeanor or the behavior of our children?  What causes us to have such different mindsets given the fact that we are all raised within the same laws as one another?

If a child is raised believing that education is an expectation, it will be no question to attend on a regular basis.  If a youth has been fed with a mindset of hard work at an early age, chances are, they will strive to attain some sort of pay through chores, yard work, babysitting, etc.  The same goes for the child who has been raised around drop-outs, drugs, alcohol and violence.  One child on the honor roll, the other, juvenile detention.   Each and every parent has their own set of ideals of what is right and wrong, and that we cannot change.  

How often have you seen children within the same family go in different directions?  One decides education and hard work will allow him or her certain amount of freedom in life.  This child strives, eventually leaves the nest and becomes financially independent.  The other, at the age of 25, has yet to leave home.  This child may be completely dependent on mom or dad for support.  He or she may even spend their life of “leisure” on the couch.   The expectations for each child are altogether different regardless of the fact they were raised under the same roof.

Knowing this fact, one can be assured enough that regardless of color, we will flock to those who have the same mindset as ourselves.  Whether we are on the light end of the color scale or the darker end, we are drawn to others who hold our same morals and values.  

I was raised in home where church, education and hard work were as much a part of survival as eating, drinking and sleeping, there was never a question in my mind that I had the right to say no the initial three.   It was just something we did; it was commonplace, within our family tree.  

Because I believe in church, education and hard work, I am drawn to others who hold the same morals and values.  I also believe that you must raise your children to be productive citizens who will eventually contribute to society.  They, too, will hopefully raise their own children in the same manner.

I choose my friends not by skin color.   I choose my relationships by how I feel when I am with others.  My friendships are built on laughter, sharing and most important, love.   I have found common ground with many who agree that honesty is the best policy.  I entrust them with my very life, and believe that they will hold my confidences sacred without releasing them like wildfire.  

When I look at my friends, I do not see color, flaws, weight, height, or scars.  I see the face of a person who truly loves and cares about me.  I feel arms that embrace me and hands that lift me up when I am down.  I hear the voice of one who cares, see the ears of the man or woman who has listened for hours on end and have looked into the eyes of one who sees deep into my very being.  

When I look at those whom I would not allow in, my eyes see hatred, an individual void of morals, values and compassion.  I see a man or woman who feels entitled.  Other attributes would include those who are self-righteous, self-serving and think of others as less than, a person who would not assist a child, man or woman in need.  Think of the Grinch and Mr. Scrooge combined.  

Therefore, I am not white.  I am a woman, lover, friend, mother, confidante, sister, enthusiast, daughter, comedian, granddaughter, writer, student of life, and so much more.